Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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