You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My bed smells like the plague
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
