He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
