I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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