Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
