id be glad to
You can't special order awesome
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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