he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
