you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
false alarm, still single
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
