Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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