Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
