The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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