He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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