Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
