JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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