That's intense
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
