I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
