My nipple is on Facebook.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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