just come out here and I will go home with you...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
