There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
