Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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