So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I can't turn off my feet"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
