you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
