so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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