i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
