what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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