3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
