Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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