PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
