Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
