I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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