so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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