He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
