Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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