His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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