the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
