Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
