the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
