So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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