I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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