so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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