just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
