I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
please don't ironically join a cult
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