quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
