People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
