so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
