how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
