I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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