I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
