Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
