I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
