Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
