told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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