It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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