i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
